Breatheeeeee....Just Breathe.

Thanks, Anna Nalick, for reminding me to just breathe. I am so over this season in life. I start a new quarter tomorrow for school...and honestly, I am not looking forward to it. I love school and I love what I am studying, but it is SO MUCH. Four classes & working full-time makes me want to pull my hair out. I am constantly exhausted, my social life is non-existent, and frankly, I am just not fun to be around.

Seriously, I DREAM of the day when I graduate and school is not holding my husband and I back from moving or progressing on with life. It has us chained to where we live because I am already over a year into the program and it would be stupid at this point to move and transfer schools. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends that have turned into family here...I would never want to leave them, but it is not fun living here. The weather is super bipolar, there is nothing to do where we live, and I'm pretty sure I have seasonal affective disorder...at least that is what I am diagnosing myself with ;) If we lived in a perfect world, I would live right next to the beach in a neighborhood with my friends and family.

Secondly, school is preventing children. Seriously, cannot believe I just said that. I have never been the "mom" type, so this baby fever that I have caught for the past couple months is a huge surprise to me. Maybe its because I am one of the last people in my circle of friends that doesn't have a child? Or maybe its because I just want my own family? Whatever the reason, its weird and school is ruining any plans of having babies for about another 1-1.5 years.

 

Of course, I was just reminded to be still, but let's be honest...it's super hard & super frustrating. Maybe I don't want to be still. Maybe I just want to put a "for sale" sign in my yard, move somewhere warm, and drop out of school. Yet, I know that doesn't solve anything...and I'm pretty sure God just chuckles at me when I get frustrated because He knows the plans mapped out for me. He has me in this season for a reason & I must remember that.

 

Prayers for a good day at school tomorrow & that my heart would find rest during this season.

 

*****